Vicki Kallman’s Blog

Continued from Part 1

I am sure that you have heard – “what you resist persists”.  From my personal experiences, that statement is completely true. Think for a moment about that one person who is always “wanting to control” you with their advice.  It could be your mother, sister, or husband.  When this happens, how do you feel?  Do you feel forced or wrong?  Or do you say to yourself “Forget that! I will not do it your way and you have not changed my mind?”  In fact, you might say to yourself “I was about to do it your way and now I won’t.  I will keep doing it my way!!” Then the problem persists. 
 
When we are not in the controlling mode, we step back so that the child or individual can step forward.  You are allowing them a chance to respond differently and giving them courage to make better choices.  Letting go of the control gave you what you wanted and you had to do nothing but step back and give control to that person. The growth will then come for both of you.  
 
We need to allow others to be who they are and thus, we allow ourselves to be who we are. We all get a wonderful gift. We can then retire the “crazy chicken dance outfit” and wear the calm and powerful robe of acceptance.
 
Let me give you a couple of examples as to how this can work.  When my oldest son was about 15 years old, the family was going to take a trip to the mountains for the day.  It was a family trip, so my husband and I wanted him to come.  He insisted that he wanted to stay home.  Instead of arguing with him and telling him that he had to go, we said, “OK, but you cannot go anywhere or have any friends over”.  He agreed.  We then loaded the van with a picnic lunch and all piled in except for him. When we started to pull out of the garage, he ran out of the house and announced that he wanted to go.  So, the whole family went and had a wonderful time.  It was really that easy.
 
Then, my youngest son, who is quite intelligent and an overall good kid, use to drive my crazy with his procrastination. While in school, he always procrastinated starting any kind of term paper or project until the last moment.  No matter how many times I recommend he start earlier on a project, he still did it last minute and was up all night to have the project done for the next day.  Being the good mom, I would help him with the project to make sure he got it done on time.  I was stressed and lost sleep too.  Then, I decided that if he wanted to wait to do the project at the last minute, it was not my problem.  I decided to hold him responsible for his own outcome.  So, when he was a junior in high school and a big project was due, I let him handle it all by himself.  He was a bit shocked that I did not get involved or stress over it.  He was up all night and I slept. 
 
The next day I made him attend all of his classes.  He chose to procrastinate and I felt great because I had had some sleep.  When he got home from school that day he did share with me that maybe he should start his projects earlier.  Even though he had good intentions to that, he did not change this pattern throughout high school or college.  He still got good grades and an excellent education.  He continued to procrastinate, but I stepped back.  I learned that crazy last-minute stuff worked for him and it was never going to look the way I wanted it to.  I could not change him and I became OK with it.  My life had less stress because of my choice.  It really was not my business. I was managing myself and it felt good. Until this behavior stops working for him, he will probably continue doing it.  That is his life lesson.  My lesson was to let go of wanting to control his behavior and manage myself.
 
I have given my clients this advice over and over again. When they heed it, the results are amazing.  I get that excited call saying you won’t believe it but it works.  They share their success stories with me. We have a good laugh.  Responding instead of reacting takes less energy with better results. Let go of the control and put joy and happiness back into your life.  Everyone benefits.  Remember, your response can start an amazingly peaceful ripple in your family’s pond.  Isn’t that what you really want anyway?
 
When you feel the urge to control someone or something other than yourself, please STEP BACK and ask yourself these simple questions. They will help you to choose to respond differently to your loved ones.
 
JOY SECRET 2 STEP-BACK QUESTIONS:
1.     Would I rather be right than happy?
2.     What has being right done me so far?
3.     Can I let go of wanting to change or control this person or situation?
4.     Would I rather want change or have it?
 
Again, as I suggest at the end of these chapters that you try this for 30 days and journal what worked and what did not work for you. Whatever you do, do not tell your family.  They must want to read this blog for themselves.  You are then not managing yourself and you are wanting to change them. Resistance will be all you get!! 
 
Put these ideas into practice. They will see the difference in you might ask you what you are doing differently.  Then share the information and website.  Leave it up to them to surf the web for my website and blog, empower them.  This way everyone stays happy.  As you can see it is so simple just not easy! Be patient!

Copyright Vicki Kallman 2007

“Love is giving someone the Space to be who they are and who they are not.” – W. Erhart

My story begins as a typical little girl born in the early fifties. I dreamt of growing up, getting married, and having a loving family. You know, the “happily ever after” dream so many of us have. I was born third of four children. My childhood was typical for the times. My mother had the role of raising the four kids and my father was the breadwinner. He was career Air Force and, like any “lifer”, he was gone a lot. We did not have a lot of money, but, like mothers of that era, mine was still able to be home with us most of the time. But, other than that, we were happy even with our moments of dysfunction, as I believe all families have in one degree or another.

In December of 1974, I met my husband, Rod. He was a senior at the U.S. Air Force Academy and on Christmas Break. After a 9-month courtship, we were married at the Academy Chapel on September 6, 1975. Then, we were off to his pilot training base in Columbus, Mississippi. Being the classic military types, we moved every 2 to 3 years for over 20 years. It was a good but hectic life.

After 2 years of marriage, I had my first son while we were stationed in Tucson, Arizona. After we moved to South Korea, I had a few health problems. The American doctors in Seoul said that I would not be able to have another child because of complications due to a surgery. With this news, we decided to adopt a 10-month-old Korean baby girl. Yet, after we returned to the States a year later, I became pregnant with my second son. So much for not being able to get pregnant again. I raised my children pretty much as my parents had raised my siblings and myself. Of course, I changed a few things. But, overall, I instilled the same values in my children that my parents had instilled in me.

In the early years, I loved being a Mom. I loved watching my children learn to walk, go to their first day of school, throw their first ball, and having their wonderful life experiences. I did not mind kissing their booboos and being there for them. To this day when my children come to visit, my heart soars.

Everything was going along pretty well until my adopted daughter turned 13 years old. Now, we knew she was different. We chalked it up to her being Korean and an introvert in a Caucasian family of extroverts. She always seemed to have trouble emotionally connecting and understanding others (children and adults).

She was a talented student in elementary school. However, when she started middle school, her social anxieties increased to the point where she could not attend school. Then, the depression set in. I had never been around anyone with emotional problems. This was all new territory for my husband and I. We took her to the doctors and they told us that they thought she was having these problems because she was adopted. They prescribed medication and regular visits to child counselors. This went on for over 8 years. When she started attending high school, the paralyzing anxieties escalated and then she needed to be hospitalized.

What was I doing during this time? I was doing everything to make everyone happy. I still had two sons to take care of. By this time, my husband was a squadron commander at Nellis Air Force Base in Las Vegas, Nevada. I was being pulled in so many different directions. My daughter needed constant care. No matter what I did to try to make her feel better, nothing worked. I became physically and emotionally exhausted. This was not the “happily ever after” dream I had planned on. The dream turned in to a nightmare.

Where did I go wrong? I gave and gave to my family. I did what my mom had done, but the rules seemed to be changing. Nothing seemed to work. Luckily, my husband and I have a strong bond or we might not have made it through those trying years.

When I first became a mother, I felt I was supposed to give my all to my family. I was counted on to fix all my children’s problems, be all knowing, and, in return, my children were supposed to be happy and full of joy. After experiencing a depressed child, I realized I had a lot to learn when it came to being an effective, loving, and joyful parent.

After trying to control my world and getting crappy results, I started looking at what made me happy. I decided to start working on myself. I took personal growth seminars, read books, and found things that gave me joy. Being open to change myself allowed me to grow into a more conscious being. The more fulfilled I became, the less drama we had in our family. When I started to feel better, my daughter and my family did better. I discovered during this time that the more I had tried to fix my daughter, the more she stayed broken. Therefore, I was a big part of the problem.

Once I started working on myself, on her own she discovered, at the age of 23 years old, that she was born with the condition called Asperger Syndrome. It is a high-functioning form of Autism. The light that we saw at the end of the tunnel was no longer an on-coming train. It was the light that guided us out of years of frustration and heartache. Finally, we understood her limitations and strengths as well as our own. Today, she is happily married and like all of us, she is living life doing the best she can.

In this book, I will share with you these 7 Secrets that I discovered along the path of my own self-discovery. Discovering these secrets and implementing them has shown me how I can have my “happily ever after” dream come true. Because I have learned to manage myself first, I have my 30-plus-year marriage, my children and my grandchildren which all add to my joy. I know for sure that if I had not worked on myself and changed the way I responded to my world, my dream of “happily ever after” would not have become a reality.

copyright 2007 by Vicki Kallman

Recently I was reminded of one the greatest secrets to living a joyful life. It happened a couple of days ago. It was at Hayhouse’s “I Can Do It” pre conference workshop here in Las Vegas. There were several workshops to pick from to attend. I chose to attend Byron Katie’s Workshop. She (yes she) wrote the amazing book, Loving What Is. A few years ago while on a trip with a friend we listened to that book on tape. I really enjoyed listening to the way she interacted with the people she supported. She also uses a series of questions to bust at an untrue thought –which was somewhat like the Sedona Method technique I taught several years ago. At that time, I promised myself, if I ever had the chance to go to one of her workshops I would attend. Even though I knew what to expect I was quite excited to watch her in action, so my heart skipped a beat when I walked into the room last Friday morning.

Katie was warm and humorous as I remembered from her book on tape. The lovely lady that sat next me commented on Katie –“Have you ever noticed that people that are enlightened seem so peaceful and beautiful.” I had to agree Katie was all of those things. I thought to myself- Hey that is who I would like to be when I grow up and out of my EGO! HA! That is what “the work” has done for Katie. “The Work” is what she calls her process of busting those untrue thoughts that cause all our suffering. She helps you get to the point of choosing not to suffer by busting all our dark, unproductive, untrue thoughts. She did “the work” with several of the attendees. Let me tell you when most of the individuals worked with her there was definitely more laughing then crying. Busting an untrue suffering thought is quite freeing – along with the freedom comes the joy of not having that untrue miserable stuff in one’s mind. I saw it over and over again. A mind not full of untrue misery causing thoughts can be free to be in the now where all our joy really lives.

Katie was so insightful and compassionate. Her main message was to STOP BELIEVING YOUR OWN THOUGHTS!. The worst thing that can happen to us is our thoughts. WOW! As Katie did “the work” I saw that to be so true. She even worked with a woman that had been continually abused by her mother 55 years earlier. This woman was so full of anxiety she could not sleep or have a happy moment in her life. Those thoughts about being afraid of her now deceased mother continue to terrorize. Once she busted those negative thoughts that were true for her 55 years ago but were not true now. The tearful woman actually laughed and whole face changed from being constricted and harsh to soft and peaceful.

One of Katie’s insights that really resonated with me was this statement. One of the greatest secrets to a joyful life is “to want what you already have”. I love that statement because one of my own mantras is “to BE in my have and acknowledge what I have and enjoy it” I know when I in that place – my life is full of joy- I am peaceful and grateful.

A few years ago my husband and I took an amazing romantic vacation to Mexico to our time-share, which is a lovely 5 star hotel. The scary thing about that vacation was-it almost did not happen. We had not used our time-share points in a few years my husband- thought that since we were not using it, we should sell. He looked into selling and discovered that we would get pennies on the dollar for the place. At that moment he thought that buying the time-share had been the worse financial decision he had ever made. Discouraged he came to me to complain about be taking advantage of when we bought it. He hates it when as a smart intelligent person he thinks he has been ripped off. I saw the pain he was in and said. “Instead of complaining about the place why don’t we book a week and go.” He looked at me very surprised as though why hadn’t I thought of that. He then turned and left the room saying nothing more. About a half hour later – he walked into the kitchen were I was and happily proclaimed that – We were going to Mexico in April – yep he had a book a week on the oceanside of the property. I was elated and so was he. Right then and there – we both were being in our have- and wanted what we already had. We had such fun and joy on that vacation. Since then when we use or let family members use the time-share every year. And when we visit the property – he no longer thinks it to be the worse financial decision of his life – he believes to be the best! He busted the painful untrue thought that he had been ripped off and got to experience the place for what it really was a paradise and a true gift that keeps on giving us joy. In doing, so he got to experience wanting what he already had. So wanting what you already have and being in your have- can produce what I feel everyone wants a happy, joyful life.

What untrue thoughts are rolling around in your head that are not giving your joy? Like- I should be smarter. My body is unattractive. I am a failure. My father was cruel. I’ll never find a love like that again. My mother did not love me. My spouse needs to change. My boss is a jerk You get the picture. If those untrue thoughts that have been running your life in a direction you do not want to go. If you are interested in busting your painful thoughts and learning more about Byron Katie, go to her website, www.thework.org . See if you can bust out of those old unproductive thoughts in doing so you can positively change yourself and maybe the world! Then write me and tell me your story- I love to hear joyful stories!

Easter is in a few days. Here in Las Vegas we have already had 90 degrees temperatures and our back yards are in full bloom. Everyday now the park across the street from my house is full of families and their pets having a great time. We even have a few soccer teams practicing in the evening in the park. This time of the year everything seems to come alive- I love seeing couples taking an evening stroll around the nieghborhoods. For me this is the best part about living in Las Vegas-it is not the gambling and craziness of the Strip. There is so much to enjoy away from the Strip.

In June or sooner the temperatures will hit the century mark and all the outside activity will slow down for a few months. Like the bear in the winter the Las Vegas natives hibernate in doors staying cool with their AC. Then by September we all venture out again. The fall is amazing here. If you wish, you can go to the mountains to watch the leaves change. My Ash tree in my front yard does not change colors and drop its leaves until December. It only stays dormant until March and then it is green again. That is the magic of living in the desert.

I have traveled the world and lived in a few foreign countries and I can honestly say the sunsets in Las Vegas are some of the most beautiful in the world. I am proud to say that Las Vegas is my home.

If you plan on visiting Las Vegas - come in the spring or the fall you will not be disappointed!

Happy Easter,
In Joy,
Vicki

Imagine for a moment that you start your morning with high energy and ready for anything and you did it without stopping at your local Starbucks for that caffeine or sugar hit. Many of you may say it is impossible because you need that coffee to function in the morning. I say you have trained your body to need that caffeine or sugar hit in the morning. You have created a belief system or addiction that says you cannot start your day without it. Every morning when I drive past any of the many Starbucks in Las Vegas - I see long lines of cars in their drive ups- so I know that there are alot you caught up in that belief.

Why pick on Starbucks? Actually I can say it about any coffee shop that is making a profit from your belief that you need some outside stimulus to give you energy and clarity in the morning or through the day. Think for a minute, what if you could get the same energy burst every day without that costly caffeine or sugar hit, how would that change your life for the better?

First off, look at the economical side. It would save you several hundreds dollars a year- face it those over $3 drinks add up quickly. Just think conservatively, you go to get your fix a least 20 mornings a month — 3×20=$60 $60 x 12= $720. Now if you found a free way to get that energy, think about what you could spend that money on. Maybe after saving what you normally would spend on that trip to your local Starbucks for a year- you could take your family on a trip like Disneyland or take your spouse on a romantic getaway. Maybe this could lead you to have more money and feel more joy in your life. Doesn’t everyone want more of those things in your lives? How empowering would that be?

That brings me to the second way driving on by a Starbucks could have positive impact on your life. You would no longer give away your power to a tall coffee. Why depend on an outside source for your start of your day? What would happen tomorrow if all the Starbucks’ doors would close forever and you could not ever have another super double chocolate latte with whip cream? What would you do? Would you jump to another costly morning ritual to replace it or would you decide to empower yourself and try something free that could never closes? Don’t you think it is time to take back your power? When one feels empowered they are opened to have more joy in their lives. Isn’t it time you had more joy in your life?

The third way skipping that morning Starbuck’s ritual could have a positive change in your life, is it would save you time in the morning for more important things. How many of you say I just don’t have enough time in the day? For those of you that go through the drive ups or get in line inside, have you ever figured on how much time it takes for you to get the morning energy drink? Next time you are in line in your car or in person- time how long does it takes from the moment you pull off the road to enter the parking lot or drive up to the moment you pull back on the road. I would guess it is from 10 to 30 minutes, maybe longer. You might say that you gave yourself time to stop and get that venti buzz drink. Have ever thought about a better use of that time? For example, wouldn’t your child enjoy that extra 10 to 30 minutes with you in the morning?- What message are you sending your children when you put your coffee first? How about your spouse? Or maybe you could use that time in the morning to do something just for you that gives you more joy and energy then a trip to Starbuck’s. Free up those precious moments!

The fourth reason that ditching your Starbucks habit or need -it could have a positive change your life. That is in the area of your health. Yes, there is research out there that says having a cup of coffee a day can be good for you. There is also research out there that says obesity and diabetes is on the rise in America. Now I am not saying the Starbuck’s coffee is making Americans fat and sick, however many of you Starbuck junkies make your first food or drink in the morning your super calorie filled latte, frappuccino or sugar-filled iced coffee. Or you grab a muffin or another pastry with your Starbucks drink in the morning. It is only common sense that dumping that much sugar and caffeine into your system on an empty stomach that time in the morning just can not be good for you. I would suspect about an hour after your have had your drink and muffin the buzz will be gone. Then you would probably feel worse or need to have another high calorie caffeine hit of some kind to make it through the day. What a vicious circle! Don’t they say breakfast is the most important meal of the day? Just ask your doctor. Hey, maybe you could lose a few inches around your waistline if you just drove right on by your local Starbucks in the morning. I believe when one is finally fitting into those special jeans in one’s closet- one is usually feeling healthier and experiencing more joy.

Are you ready to let go of that morning coffee ritual? Are ready to take control over your life and be more joyfully for free? It will only take a few minutes a day. Here are a few suggestions that might support releasing the habit. I dare you to try them and let me know what you think.

Now please pick a few items to do everyday for 30 days and see the change in you. Change your beliefs. Now if that Starbuck closed your world would not end. Remember we never need an outside stimulus to give us energy or give you joy-it is an inside job. Become empowered. Trust yourself! Put yourself back in the driver’s seat and Drive on by!

Have a wonderful day and let me know what you think of my article.
Vicki

This weekend my youngest son and I ventured away from the desert up to the beautiful and serene mountains outside of Las Vegas to catch a glimpse of the Aspens in full fall colors. As we reached the elevation around 6000 feet- the temperature dropped and there was a definite chill in the air –yes, were were finally entering the autumn experience that we were there to embrace. When we approached the patches of golden Aspens, we noticed that we had missed the “big change” of color- many of the Aspen had already shed their golden fleeces. About 70% of the Aspen had surrendered - their leaves had already turned the beautiful colorful hues. They were now left naked and exposed to the elements with only dried, dull golden leaves in piles at the base of their white trunks. A part of me wished I had made the trip a week or two earlier. (Note to self make the trip at the end of September next year.) After I let go of that missed opportunity, I began to appreciate the few beautiful stubborn tree that were still holding tight to their bright yellow, silver dollar-shaped leaves not ready to surrender and be part of the “Big Change”.

I had to laugh when I realized that many of us are stubborn and resistant to change just like the trees that had not quiet complied with Mother Nature’s plan. Of course by this time next week, it will be hard to find an Aspen that still has a golden leaf on it- change will come - change is inevitable just ask the Aspens in the fall. Like the Aspens, down deep we know we must change to grow. Some of us embrace change and trust the universe and all it’s knowledge and others go kicking down the path of transformations.

As a life coach, I experience many clients that are not happy with their work or personal lives and stay stuck in those environments that do not give them what they want out of their lives. Like many of us they fear change or the unknown. It is amazing that we stay stuck in business or personal relationships that are crappy instead moving on. If what we know is not what we say we want, then what do we have to lose by changing. We must close the doors on our pasts and look around for new doors to enter that can give us the joy, love, and abundance that we all seem to want. Just like the game show. The Price is Right we must see our options or doors and chose one and walk in to receive the grand prize. If we stay in the audience afraid of what is behind the doors - we lose all the way around. No grand prize!

Next Spring when I travel to the mountains again and walk through the Aspens, most of them will have grown taller and their branches will be thicker full of green silver dollar-shaped leaves. None of this could have occurred without the Aspens embracing their changes in the fall and spring. However, I am sure I will find a few late bloomers that are comfortable with their leafless branches and not ready to change. However, they will have to grow their leaves or die. That is a harsh reality- I am sure you have walked in the mountains in the summer and seen the leafless trees and you know they are dead- they did not get on board with the change - that got stuck in their nakedness and that did not serve them.

We have alot to learn from Mother Nature. First of all change is inevitable, just ask the Aspens. Like the Aspens we can easily surrender to the changes around us or hold on tight to what we know and hopefully, eventually change. It is up to you. You can do it the hard way or the easy way. You know what happens if you don’t change- just ask the leafless Aspen next summer.

I hope you all embrace the changes that come your way this fall. When you do, enjoy your grand prize!

IN JOY,
Vicki

Dear Readers,

I have spent most of the summer traveling and enjoying life. I plan writing several blogs about my travels in the upcoming days. I feel really blessed to have had such wonderful and amazing experiences.

I am grateful to have the freedom to travel and enjoy myself were ever I go. One of the ah ha’s I felt while on these adventures was that there is really is a direct correlation between freedom and joy. In these last few months, I reaffirmed that letting go and being just me– allowed me the freedom to be in joy. I really felt the freedom and joy connection. It really is a choice to let go and be free. As Lester Levinson, the founder of the Sedona Method, always said, “Our goal in life is to be imperturbable.” That is nothing that can bother or perturbe us, ie freedom and all that wonderful stuff that goes along with freedom. And if nothing is bothering us then we have the freedom to enjoy life! Just let go of the heavy emotions to feel and be in the lighter and higher emotions.

I hope you enjoy my upcoming blogs. Feel free to comment on them if you wish.

Until then. “Let go and flow to your joy!”

In Joy,

Vicki

What you think about is what you bring about. Or you think to create. Your thoughts create your world. These are very empowering statements. You might say what do you mean by these statements? What I mean is this- When you think about joy you bring about joy. When you think joy - you create joy. And lastly, your joyful thoughts create your joyful world! And on the darkside of all of this is- When you think about worry you create things to worry about! When you think gloom and doom - you create gloom and doom.Your fearful thoughts create a fearful world.

Who wants to create worry,gloom, and doom, and fear in their lives? I don’t - I would definitely would rather create JOY.

I have just described to you the principles of the universal “Law of Attraction”. The definition of the Law of Attraction is “I attract to my life whatever I give my energy, focus, and attention to, whether wanted or unwanted.” Thoughts and feelings are energy. I believe we are an energetic body as well as a physical body. As our physical body responds favorably to good food, good water, exercise and proper sleep. Our energetic body responds favorably to good or positive thoughts and feelings. You know when you consume fatty fast food and you stop exercising and you are sleep deprived. You start to feel bad so you go to the doctors. There they will give you tests and the tests results will probably tell you that your cholesterol and blood pressure is sky high along with a few other negative conditions - this is how your body has responded to your neglect. Now if you think or speak negative thoughts or words about yourself or others- you will have created a negative energetic environment- that will produce the opposite of what you really wanted. Someone once said to me “if you put junk in -you get junk out.” That goes for your body as well as your thoughts. Are you getting the jest of what I am saying?

When I first started to understand this universal law of attraction, I decided to really test it. I was not completely convinced that my thoughts created my world. It was spring 1999. I took a once in a lifetime week long trip to London, England with my darling mother-in-law and my husband’s two older sisters. It was a “Girl’s Trip to London”. I was so excited to go. I wanted it to be a wonderful experience. Who knows when I would get back there?

To test out this law of attraction thing- I did this- I said to myself that I was going to love everything about London even the weather in March. Before the trip, I was in constant contact with my two well meaning sister-in-laws and mother-in-law so as to plan this wonderful trip. Instead of thinking how wonderful it all was going to be- my two sisters-in-law were full of worry about the weather, the food, the jet lag, and getting sick while they were there. They seemed to be looking for thinks to go wrong. After everyone of our telephone calls- I would say to myself exactly what I wanted to happen for me while I was there. First - I kept saying- The weather will not stop me from having a wonderful time. England was not famous for great food, however I repeated to myself what ever I eat it will delicious and I will love it. As for the jetlag, I affirmed that “I will have plenty of sleep while I am in London and feel refreshed every morning”. And finally I told myself that I would have radiant health throughout my trip.

The day of the trip I met the other three at Denver International Airport and we were on our way. Once we boarded the flight and got settled, my husband’s two sisters started talking up their fears again- thank God they were sitting in the seats in front of me - so I could tune them out. Half way through the flight they ask me if I needed a sleeping pill to catch a few zzz’s on the flight. They informed me that they had brought enough for us all to take throughout the stay in order to get enough sleep. I said maybe later but I was fine now. There was a few seats open around me so I laid down and got an hour or so of sleep. So far so good. My two sisters in law- still did not sleep a wink even with the sleeping pills hmmm….

Once we arrived at the hotel and got settled, we took a cab to a local pub to get a bite to eat. I was so excited to be in a real English pub. I ordered the soup of the day and salad. They ordered a couple of sandwiches. My soup was fantastic as well as my salad. They complained about the sandwich and only ate half of it. My mother-in-law in the mean time enjoyed what she ordered. No complaints there.

That night when it was time to go to bed. My sister-in-laws again took some sleeping pills and I declined. I hopped into bed and went fast to sleep and did not wake up until 6am-completely refreshed. You guessed it- the sisters did not have a good night sleep. My mother-in-law had a good night sleep. I started to think that my intelligent mother-in-law understood the law of attraction and had planned on having a fearless and joyful time, too.

As you can imagine throughout the week, my meals were amazing- theirs were not, I had no trouble sleeping- they continued to struggle with it. The weather did not stop me from enjoying my trip.

One night we went to the musical, “Chicago” at wonderful old theater. I had a blast watching this amazing live performance of that muscial. Afterwards, I was feeling so good. When we were walking to the “Tube”, the sisters started complaining about the muscial- I thought to myself- “had they seen the same show that I had.” Now my sister-in-laws are really wonderful gals- I really love them both. However, they really did not understand the “law of Attraction” A couple of times that week, I tried to help them shift their thoughts- so they could enjoy the trip as much as I did. I wasn’t too successful with that attempt. Their thoughts were ruining the trip for them and my thoughts were creating an amazing time for me.

Four days into the trip, the sister I was bunking with started to get sick with a dreadful bronchial and strepthroat type flu. She was in bed with a high fever. And the day after that, the other sister who was sharing a room with their mother came down with the same flu. They even had to do to a local doctor to get antibiotics.

My mother in law and myself never got that flu. When we arrived back to Denver, my two sister-in-laws were so sick, I had to drive them home.

To this day whenever we get together and talk about our trip to London- they shared what a lousy time they had- the food was trouble and the weather made them so sick. In fact, they were sick for two weeks after they got home. My mother-in-law and I would always look at each other and say we loved and would do it again.

You might feel that I have exaggerated this story- every bit of it is true. Since then everytime I intentionally use the law of attraction to have a wonderful time on a vacation- my vacation is perfect. If I let some fear in or doubt- I do not have a good time. From my own experiences, I have come to the conclusion that one can attract a joyful vacation just as easy as a lousy one.

I once heard this statement- “Fuzzy in gives you fuzzy out- clarity in gives you clarity out.” So lets get clear on what kind of vacation you want.

Here are a few tips to great a joyful vacaton this summer.

1. Do this exercise that comes out of Michael Losier’s book “The law of Attraction”.

On a sheet of paper draw a line down the paper to make two columns. Label the first column- what you do not want to happen on your vacation- the contrast(like my sisters in law’s fears) and then on the other side across from each fear what you want to experience instead of that fear your clarity( my thoughts for example) Once you have done that - tear away the contrasting portion and give your attention and focus to your ideal trip.

2. Keep saying yourself that your will have a joy-filled wonderful vacation no matter what.

3. Another affirmation type statement you might want to add is - I work hard all year and I deserve to have a wonderful time.

4. Visualize a joyful trip from the beginning to end and then allow it to happen. Set back and reap the benefits of your good thoughts.

I hope this helps you create an amazing vacation this summer and every vacation in the future.

Let me know if you try this out and the results!! Bon Voyage!!!

Just recently a friend of mine with little children asked me what I did to keep my children occupied on car trips. I let her in on a secret I use to use. Since we were in the military and seemed to live in cars, either traveling to our next home, visiting grandparents out of state, or family vacations, for survival I had to come up with a great distraction for my three kids. I do not know when I came up with this idea that worked 100% of the time with my three kids. I believe I came by this when my kids were in elementary school.

What I discovered was when ever we went somewhere my children always wanted us to buy them something- like at Disneyland, a Travel stop, just anywhere. So what I decided to do was have my children earn their spending money.

This is how I did it. I promised each one of my children $20 at the end of the trip to do as they pleased- but they had to earn by behaving. Every time I had to discipline the child or raise my voice they lost a quarter. I had them all agree with the rules and ask questions - so they were clear. Then the game began. Let me tell by the time they lost 50 cents there would be no more problems- peace and quiet. They became responsible for their own behavior. They found things to occupy their time that did not included fighting with each other. They learned patience. Once the money was gone it was gone. They did not get a chance to earn it back. That might sound harsh- but they learned that there were consequences to their actions. If they whined about losing a quarter- they lost another. Hence the arguing ceased! It was like magic.

I would do the same thing on the return trip. It was worth every penny I spent. Children always want you to buy them something- so this way they had some money of their own to buy what they want. I did notice that they took a great amount of time to buy just the right item or items. I feel they learned a lot about earning money and spending on those trips. A great life lesson.

If you have children that are too young to understand money, have every child start out with a bag of their favorite candy that they will get at the end of the trip. Put their name on the bag. Explain that they have to earn it. Every time they misbehave they have to take a piece of their candy out bag and put it in their parent’s candy bag. Again they will learn responsibility and consequences. If you do not want to use candy- find another item that will work.

Because of this secret, we got to experience the joy of taking a family trip. A lot less stress and a lot more joy.

Let me know if you use this secret this summer and let me know if you got to experience more joy traveling with your family this summer!

Happy Traveling,
Vicki

I am back from a wonderful vacation in Misawa, Japan. I was there visiting my son and his family. I welcomed my new grand daughter, Aubrey Ann, into this world. It is amazing what joy one can have by holding a new baby. I kept repeating to myself, “What a gift!”

We all start our whole, perfect, and complete just like my little Aubrey. I believe the reason babies look angelic is because they know they are whole, perfect, and complete and no one has told them anything else. They also understanding they are part of a whole and not separate. As I held her I could feel the joy that she is and she brought out the joy in me. Life is really a miracle!

I believe when a child is born we all hold hope and love for this wonderous being. As I watched Aubrey sleep, I could really sense her perfection. I said to myself - she is going to grow up and want approval from her love ones like everyone else. She is going to teach her parents that - “She is going to do what she is going to do and she won’t do what she won’t do!” She will also teach her parents and love ones to - “Mind their own Business”. And just love her. She will have heartaches and become stronger because of them. She will discover that this world can sometimes be a scary place but with the support of her love ones- she can let go of the fear and be all she can be! She will want to control her world but then realize that she only controls her response to her world. Right now Aubrey knows she is limitless- my prayer for her is that she always remembers that.

As I held my little angel- I remembered at one time I was someone’s little angel- whole, perfect, and complete. Tears ran down my face because I had forgotten that I was that little perfect soul. It took be 52 years to really remember that I am a gift to this world and to connect to that place.

Thank you Aubrey- Grandma is still learning.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there!!