Simple Secret #7 “Follow Your Heart to your Dreams”
“Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.”
–Ralph Waldo Emerson
For many years my happily-ever-after dream had been hidden in my heart afraid to come out. I guess I thought that if I did not bring it to the surface then I would not have to be reminded that I had failed. I was afraid to admit that I could not make my family happy. I was tangled up in all of “the facts” which had shut down the possibilities that we were never going to be happy again. My daughter’s depression affected all of us. That was a fact I could not ignore. My dream was tucked tight in my chest waiting for me to be introduced to the six Simple Secrets that would allow me to dream again.
In order to dream again, I had to let go of the overwhelming fact that my daughter may suffer depression and anxiety the rest of her life. Not an easy fact to release. During that time, someone said to me “Don’t get confused with the facts. Facts come from the intellect and dreams come from the heart. One does not have anything to do with the other.” Great! Now how was I going to open my heart to dream again?
As I uncovered and applied these wise secrets in my life, I finally began to trust that deep-down feeling that it was OK to dream again. My heart cautiously opened up to the possibility that everything would work out. I had exerted so much energy protecting my heart and covering up my dreams that I felt a sense of release when I finally decided to dream again. It was wonderful and frightening at the same time.
On a cool January day over 2 years ago, when my newly engaged daughter and I went to a Bridal Store to buy her wedding dress, I first realized that my dream for a happy family was actually coming true. We picked out and lugged dozens of white bridal dresses into the dressing room to begin the ritual of trying them all on to find that one perfect dress. This can be trying under the best of conditions. She wanted to quit and do it another day. I said just a few more. Then she came out in the “one” that looked like it was made just for her. I cried for joy. I felt my heart open up and let that beautiful, lovely dream out. Inside I thought, “Lord, is this really happening? Thank you! Thank you!” She looked beautiful. She was no longer stressed, but was calm and happy.
After finding out she had Asperger’s Syndrome, she was able to deal with her anxiety and depression in a positive way. She had learned to find her own joy. Nine months later she married a wonderful man in a small intimate ceremony with her happy family and a few close friends looking on. That dream of happily-ever-after now was passed on to her.
Have you ever heard of these sayings, ”What you think about is what you bring about?” Or “We think to create”. Basically, these are sayings that have to do with the principles of the “Law of Attraction”. The Law of Attraction is, “I attract to my life what I put my energy, focus and attention to whether wanted or unwanted.” If you are focusing on your family dramas/problems you create more dramas. if you put your attention to your dream of a happy, healthy family, you will create one. “If you put junk in, you will get junk out.” “If you put good thoughts in, you will then get good thoughts out.” It is as simple as that. All the other Simple Secrets got me to change my thinking to what I wanted and thus I changed my world into a place I love living in. I stopped thinking what was not working and put my attention on what I wanted to happen instead. Like magic, my dream started to unfold right before my eyes.
When creating or remembering your dreams again, it is important to remember the “Law of Attraction”. What you are holding in your mind is what you will create. Are you ready to follow your heart to your dream?
The first step in dreaming is to know what you want. This is not always easy to do, especially if you have had your dream heart buried for years or you have forgotten how to dream. We are unaware that we had choice to do anything differently. If you are ready to dream, then let’s do it! Here is a guide to do just that!
I have set up another series of Step-Back questions for you to answer. First, set aside a few hours where you can be alone. Places like a library or the neighborhood park are excellent locations to do this exercise. Make sure you bring along a notebook or journal and pen to write your answers. I do not recommend doing this on a computer. My experience has been that when you answer the questions in long hand, you really connect better with your own heart’s desires. Secondly, you are to ask yourself each question then step-back, get quiet, and listen to the answer. This can be a life-changing experience for you, if you let it. Be as truthful as you can. Are ready to start your creative engines? Let’s go:
JOY SECRET 7 STEP-BACK QUESTIONS:
1. Are you ready to dream?
2. Are you ready to be happy?
3. Are you able to forgive yourself and others?
4. Can you close your eyes and remember a time when everyone was happy?
5. Do you feel it is possible to have your family be healthy and happy?
6. Do you see happiness and joy in you and your family’s future?
7. Now, what do you want? Spend some time on this one. This is the core of your dream. It is the time to be still and listen. After you have written your dreams down, please prioritize them from the most important down to the least important. This will help you to get clear and stay focused on the most important first and then the rest will follow. You may not be able to do this all in one sitting. However, if it is not complete, please go back and finish it. You do not want to be stuck thinking about one-half of your dream. The result will be that you will only get part of what you want.
Here are few questions to help you with #7- Remember to write all of your answers down.
- What are you doing in your dream?
- Who are you with?
- Where are you?
- Are you responding to your life instead of reacting to it?
- Are you free of your family’s dramas?
- Have those problems/dramas taken care of themselves?
- Are you minding your own business?
- Are you doing what gives you joy?
- Are you allowing others to give to you?
- Have you become a great receiver?
- Is your love cup filled up?
- How are the people around you responding to you?
- Is your family being loving and accepting towards each other?
- What are your family members doing?
- Can you feel the love and joy?
- Are you allowing your loved ones to be who they are?
- Does your dream seem possible?
- If you had two words to describe this dream, what would they be?
After you have completed these questions, then ask yourself “Where do I see myself and my family in 1 year?” Go back to the 7 Step-Back questions again to help you with that answer. When you have completed that task, if you have time ask yourself this question, “Where do I see myself and my family in 5 years?” Again let the 7 questions help you with forming that dream.
Once you have completed this process, you should be able to have that dream. Now, all you have to do is apply these 7 Simple Secrets to your life and put your energy, focus, and attention on your dream and sit back and enjoy the journey!
Once you have completed this process, you might want to share your wonderful joy-filled dream with your family. That is great. However, please pick and choose carefully those who you wish to share this most intimate dream. Find the individuals who are supportive so that they can cheer you on. Be careful not to share it with your family’s ”dream buster”. Every family has a few. They love to burst everyone’s dream bubble with all their intellectual facts as to why your dream won’t work. Please don’t listen to their fear-based reasoning. Instead, listen to your inner voice that is speaking from your heart’s desires and know that your dream is right for you and your family. Block out anything that is not in tune with your precious dream.
Here is another exercise that could support you in realizing your dream. You can do this with other members of your family who hold your dream in their hearts, too. It is called the “Wouldn’t it be nice if….” exercise. This comes from one of my favorite books, Ask and It Is Given, by Esther and Jerry Hicks. Here is how you do this exercise. Hold your dream in your mind and then share something from that dream that has not happened yet. For instance, “Wouldn’t it be nice if, Uncle Johnny got a fabulous high paying job?” Or “Wouldn’t it be nice if, Jenny got well enough to play outside?” “Wouldn’t it be nice if, my body responded differently to food?” Do you understand the exercise? This is great whenever you want to spend time focusing on your dream. This exercise can support you in connecting with your heart and your dream. When you do this, you put your dream in the present moment and, from that place, your dreams will come true. Remember you attract to your life what you put your energy, focus, and attention to, whether wanted or unwanted.
Like I have mentioned before, all of the other 6 Simple Secrets will assist you in following your heart to your dreams of having a joy-filled family.
Remember, one person changing the way they think and feel can be the catalyst for change in everyone around them. Are you committed to having this dream realized? If so, then what type of pebble do you plan on dropping in your family’s pond? One filled with love and joy? Or one filled with fear and guilt? Remember your family’s joy begins with YOU!
“Go Confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined.”
–Henry David Thoreau
Copyright 2007 Vicki Kallman