I know most of you have experienced many love/hate relationships over the years. We can have them with people, places or things. My most recent love/hate relationship was with my Apple computer. A few years ago my old PC was dying and my husband, an Apple computer fanatic, talked me into having an Apple Computer. I love what computers can do for me. But I hated learning a new computer and its programs. Definitely, not my happy place. In fact, I was in the middle of a big project when we had to make the change over. I would not recommend doing this, if you wish to keep your sanity. I got so frustrated with trying to complete the project. I felt like I was taking one step forward and two back. My computer finally responded to my hating energy with its hard drive crashing.
As I handed over my Apple computer to the twenty-something kid at the Apple Store, it hit me. I best learn how to work one of these computers or my life was going to be a living hell. Before I left the store, I signed up for their one-to-one coaching sessions. A few days later, when I picked up my repaired computer, I had my first coaching session. I went home that day hating my Apple Computer a little less. Over a period of a year, I had many, many coaching sessions. I discovered it really is easy, if someone shows you how! Imagine that! The hate just disappeared – I was actually loving my computer.
How did this happen? What was my love/hate relationship with my Apple computer really about? What did I learn from this experience?
First off, I learned I did not have a love/hate relationship with my new computer. I had a love/fear relationship with it. I discovered hate was just another word for fear. I feared it, so I hated it. The fear, I had about my inability to learn a new system, put the hate idea in my head. It just produced frustrations when I was in my hate mode. When I finally mustered up the courage to face the fear of not being smart enough to learn this new computer, the hate began to dissipate. As I learned my new computer and its programs, I felt more confident and empowered. Today, I love that I stepped out of my comfort zone and allowed myself to love what I feared.
Secondly, I learned hate is just an excuse created by fear. Hate kept me stuck in my old ways. Has that ever happened to you?
Lastly, I learned hatred can be born out of my ignorance. It is fearing what I did not know. The fear of the unknown is what stops many of us from succeeding in many areas of our lives. Can you relate to this?
The next time you say to yourself or others, “I have a love/hate relationship with my friend, job, dog, computer or whatever.” Replace the word “hate” with the word “fear” and get down to what is causing this reaction in you. Get to the truth of the situation!
Ask yourself-
- What am I fearing?
- Am I fearing not being smart enough?
- Am I fearing the unknown?
- Do I fear I might be wrong or what?
- Do I fear someone else knows more than me?
Investigate what is really going on. Then face the fear, take action, and see where it takes you. I have a feeling it will take you to LOVE.
Enjoy the endless possibilities!
Remember, there is no true success without joy.